It’s Friday again, which means it’s time to declare the CFU Freak of the Week!  Yay!

I know that some of you out there visit us only for the Freak of the Week, and I’m glad our honorees inspire you reach higher and stronger in your quest for Control Freakiness.  I hope that some of you even contact these men and women and tell them how much you admire them and want to become like them.  C.F.’ers just love such attention!  Of course, be sure to tell them where you read about them…

So anyway, this week we are not honoring some obscure person that suddenly displayed his or her Control Freak nature by doing something above and beyond the call of duty to impress us.  No, in fact, this week’s selection is a person who has done many of the same C.F.’er things that others of his peer group have done over the last decade or so.

First of all, let me introduce you to the FofW’s peer group, the members of the United States House of Representatives.  Yes, for years now, the vast majority of these men and women have been working diligently to increase the size of the federal government by faithfully building the warfare/welfare state, while keeping themselves hooked into Power, Money and Sex.  Orwell would be so proud.

To be specific, according to Jane Aitken’s column, our Freak of the Week has voted for the following parts of the Congressional Control Freak Agenda:

• Federalizing rules for driver licenses
• Making the Patriot Act permanent
• Allowing electronic surveillance without a warrant
• Authorizing use of military force in Iraq
• Spending an “emergency” $78 billion for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
• Declaring Iraq part of the “War on Terror” with no exit date

Besides that, he also supports:

• The United Nations interventionist policies
• The World Trade Organization
• Federal bailouts of banks and private corporations
• Increased federal involvement in education
• Unconstitutional and undeclared wars
• Medicare Part D
• Stimulus spending
• Massive foreign aid

Hallelujah!  Can a Congressional Control Freak get any better than that, especially when widely characterized as a “conservative”, whatever that is?  Certainly not in my book!

Well, I’ve delayed identifying this C.F.’er hero long enough…

From the great State of Wisconsin, recently named as the presumptive Republican nomination for Vice President of the United States, I give you Paul Davis Ryan!  Yes, another neo-con lined up to get more power, and that is always a spectacular thing!

Personally, I can’t wait to see this guy working hand in hand with Mitt Romney to fool all of those stupid fuckin’ conservative Americans that believe all will be well as soon as the Evil Black Democrat in the White House is replaced.  HAHAHAHAHA!  Luckily, they will NEVER learn.  You’d think that after two Bushes they’d get a clue what is really going on, but no…

Anyway, for helping Control Freaks at the national level get even more control, we honor Paul Ryan, the next Vice President of the United States, as our…

FREAK OF THE WEEK!

Sieg Heil, Baby!